We don't need no stinking judges!

Being a middle child isn’t easy. You’re often relegated to the thankless role of peacemaker or simply an involuntary buffer between two warring siblings (getting boogers wiped on you or farted on isn’t uncommon). Middle children strive for anonymity not because they prefer it but because it’s all they know.

Being a middle child isn’t all bad though; from this struggle comes the fuel for artistic expression and creativity. When I think of Belgium I can’t help but frame it in these terms. Wedged between France and Germany, Belgium’s history and identity is often viewed through the lens of its larger, more powerful neighbors. Like the ongoing identity crisis a middle child often faces, Belgium also faces conflict within its borders between the Dutch (Flemish) north and the French (Walloon) south. In spite of these difficulties Belgians have still managed to create a distinct identity for themselves. A major component of that identity is their beer.

Loving Belgian beer is not a prerequisite for loving craft beer, but it’s damn close. Many if not all the great American craft breweries have Belgian-style beers in their arsenal. These brewers aren’t merely paying lip service, all share a deep respect and passion for the true king of beers. While “America’s Funniest Home Videos” didn’t invent the getting-hit-in-the-nuts gag, it did perfect it. The same can be said about Belgium and beer.



One American brewery that has dedicated itself exclusively to creating Belgian-style ales is Brewery Ommegang in upstate New York. Just a short drive from the baseball hall of fame in Cooperstown, Ommegang began operating in 1997. Since that time it has employed the expertise of Belgian breweries Scaldis and Brouwerij Duvel Moortgat (Yes, that’s the same folks that brew Duvel). In fact, in 2003 the founders sold to Brouwerij Duvel Moortgat and since then Ommegang has significantly upped its production and availability throughout the U.S. (Foreign intervention isn’t always bad.)

One thing you should know about me is I don’t place a lot of stock in awards. This stems from a lifetime of disappointments; none greater than when Cuba Gooding Jr. beat out William Macy for best supporting actor during the 1996 Academy Awards for his performance in “Jerry Maguire.” Thanks to Cuba, casino employees around the world have had to endure screaming pleas of “show me the money” for the past 15 years. William H. Macy on the other hand gave us such gems as “What the heck do ya mean?” and “you betcha” from his momentous performance in “Fargo.” I’ve been hurt. But when it comes to beer awards all that baggage mysteriously goes out the window. When I heard that Ommegang’s Abbey Ale Dubbel won a gold medal in the World Beer Cup I had to try it immediately. True, I had no idea what the hell the World Beer Cup was until I read about it, but it didn’t matter, I had fallen under its spell. I drove to the local bottle shop and picked up a 25 ounce bottle for $6.99.

Ommegang Abbey pours a dark rich brown with slight hues of sunset orange. The lively tan head settles to a persistent half-finger coat. This is one of those beers I would order strictly on appearance alone. While not as striking as the appearance, the nose has drawing power as well. Dark fruits at the fore with Belgian yeast and clovey spice playing underneath. Unfortunately, things start to go wrong from there. When I take the first sip the first thing I notice is not any of the dark fruit flavors but a watery flat mouthfeel. I really have to work to pick up any flavors. Bland and muted are two regularly occurring adjectives in my notes. While this beer has been disappointing it hasn’t necessarily been offensive. The finish would change all that. It ends with a harsh alcohol dryness that is infused with a slightly metallic, tinny flavor.

Drinking Abbey Ale is like having an amazing phone conversation before a first date but then the actual date lasts 45 minutes and you’re trying to find your friends at the next bar so you can tell them how horribly wrong it all went. Yes, I know it’s a gold medal winner and has an A- rating on Beer Advocate but I can only go on what I experienced. It’s definitely not a question of disliking the style because Maredsous 8 and Brother Thelonious are beers I thoroughly enjoy.

I really wanted to love this beer, but we just couldn’t make it work. Life is full of disappointments and I just have to accept that this is one of them. I’m glad Abbey Ale has given others happiness -- I’m not bitter because I know firsthand that Ommegang makes great beers like Hennepin and Rare Vos. I just have to stop feeling like I did something wrong, trust my assessment and tell the World Beer Cup judges that I respectfully disagree with their assessment (I’m sure that would shake them to their core). Yet again my distrust in awards has been affirmed. It reminds me of the 1990 Academy Awards when “Dances with Wolves” beat out "Goodfellas."

Brewery Ommegang Abbey Ale
Dubbel
8.5% abv
$6.99 for a 25 ounce bottle
It would be a good deal if I liked it but I didn’t so no $:)s